How is Self-Acceptance Actually Going to Help Me?

Something I’m so grateful I figured out fairly recently was the notion that validation, approval, and self-worth are all found from within; they cannot be found anywhere else. This concept used to be so foreign to me because I just couldn’t understand how me accepting myself would actually be useful.

“Did I issue my own paycheck?” “Did I have to look at ME on a date?”….No!

So how was my own love of self, going to help me get that promotion or find a meaningful relationship?

Something changes about your whole persona when you believe you have value and genuinely like who you are; flaws and all. It’s not that you can’t find love without this awareness of self-love, or that your work ethic alone won’t get you promoted even when you are chasing the carrot in the rat race. Obviously, those things can still happen because people do it all the time…I did, for over 10 years.

But we can only sustain this approval-seeking behavior for so long before it starts to break us down. It’s exhausting trying to please everyone while simultaneously ignoring your own desires and life’s purpose.

You know you're hitting a wall, living like this, when you are exhausted (emotionally or physically), when you have little desire to do anything for yourself, and when you start to wonder, “Is this all there is?”

There is another way to live and it starts with giving yourself the opportunity to truly explore your current situation. Self-love and admiration is the key to living in joy. It can be hard to get there, I know.

One of the first steps is to try answering some important questions:

If you want something to change, if you want to go to sleep at night fulfilled and excited for what the next day will bring, you must start devoting time to yourself so you can get clear on exactly what you DO want. You deserve to live this one life exactly as you dream it to be.

Mary Polanco, MSSL, RBLP-T
August 31, 2023